Hey everyone! I’m giving you a brand new review of the new Robert Rodriguez movie……MACHETE!!! Are you wondering whether you want to see this or not? Hopefully this review will help you decide. ENJOY!
Title: Machete
Starring: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, and Lindsay Lohan…….Alot of people in this movie. Kind of a weird cast too.
Plot: Ex-Federale turned day labor Machete is hired as a hitman to take out The highly racist Senator John McLaughlin. However Machete is double crossed by the men who hired him and left for dead. Soon though the men realize…..that they just f**ked with the wrong mexican…..
Review: If you all don’t already know this, Machete used to be a fake trailer made by Rodriguez for his and Quentin Tarantino’s double feature Grindhouse. (Look it up on Youtube or rent the Planet Terror DVD) Now how is the full length feature????? Pretty f**king awesome!!! I really enjoyed this movie. Its full of babes, bullets, and blood. Some of the best ingredients to making an awesome flick.
One of the most interesting things about this movie is the fact that its a tribute to those b-movie exploitation stuff, but the movie has a message it feels. Long story short…..its pretty good for trying to be bad, but of course the best thing about it is the amount of blood and boobs. ha-ha. The actors did a damn good job in the movie. Its awesome to finally see Trejo get a starring role for once. We’ve seen him rock alot of characters in movies, but this is his time to shine.
Trejo is Machete, and i love it. I hope this movie gives him the chance to do more starring roles. The rest of the cast is pretty solid. for some reason Jessica Alba’s acting stinks unless she is in a Robert Rodriguez movie. I mean she is always going to be the woman of mine, and every guys, dream, but when it comes to good acting you don’t usually think of Alba. She did pretty good as an Immigration officer/ Machete’s love interest (though he gets it on with all the main female characters….cause he is Machete!)
Michelle Rodriguez plays the sexiest tough girl she has ever played. It was interesting to kind of see a different side to her that isn’t in a military outfit covered in high tech weapons. To see her in tight leather black pants and a black leather bikini top blasting a sawed off shotgun at bad guys is….well its just amazing. Robert De Niro is always good in movies. Even if the movie sucks. Seagal usually plays a hero, at least to my knowledge, but this time he plays a mexican drug lord that ruined Machete’s life.
He does a pretty good job, but he is for sure the weakest link acting wise. I could tell you about the rest of the cast, but i don’t want to fill this review just of me talking about the cast. Just trust me when i say they all do well. The only real problem i had with the movie was the pacing.
I felt like it was rushed, and pretty hardcore at times, but not enough for you not to care about what is going on. The plot of the movie was pretty interesting. it went from a revenge story to a revolutionary type story. As i said before it was interesting to see a “B-movie” with a strong political message. If your having trouble picking a movie to watch this weekend at the theater…..go see Machete!
I give Machete 3.5 blood soaked Machetes outta 5!